hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
