Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
