My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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