Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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