You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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