so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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