she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
