i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
