Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
its not stalking. its research.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
