Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
