I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
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I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
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When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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