I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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