you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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