If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
