I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
If I die, sorry about rent.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
