would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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