My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize