i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
