i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
