I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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