Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
