problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
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My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
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So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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