he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
