On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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