Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
