Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize