I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
