I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
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He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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