It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
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Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
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Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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