Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize