the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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