If i come over, it means nothing
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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