You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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