someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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