just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
