Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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