he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
