how can u be prego again
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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