maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize