Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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