I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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