i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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