I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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