Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
