Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
my poor anus
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
