Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
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Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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