don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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