Please, let me fuck your mom
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
