Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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