sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
