Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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