one word: firstdatebathroomanal
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
