Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
