I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
