just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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