I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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