can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
