how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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