Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
