ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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