fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
What drink are we having for lunch?
I FOUND THE LEGS
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
